The Big Fat Indian Wedding

Come May and you see your inbox/mailbox flooded with Wedding invitations.Indian weddings(“The Big Fat Indian Wedding”)  are an elaborate affair lasting for a week, sometimes upto a month!!!. It is a cycle of feasts and exchange of gifts in one’s own family as well as between bride’s and the groom’s family. The weeklong extravaganza comprises of different poojas and ceremonies. They are characterised by colorful sarees( invariably silk sarees in case of South India), flowers, fragrances, music (esp . Shehnaai ), kids playing around and hustle and bustle of the large crowd gathered. With the kind of disposible income in India now marriage extravaganza is at its peak. Esp. in the NRI community weddings are a symbol of your social standing and community sentiment. In fact this also became the subject of a Discovery Channel documentary.Some places where dowry has ceased to be a demand, groom’s family insist on a lavish wedding.

When it comes to marriage customs, India is truly a sub continent. The customs vary based on caste and region. But there are some common threads running among almost all of them. All marriages consider Agni Devta(God of Fire) as a witness to the marriage and hence involves a agni kund [1] (check out the significnace section at the end). The poojari(priest) says all the mantras, sometimes explaining the meaning of the same and the bride, the groom and their families oblige to all the rituals as told by the priest( I don’t know if the poojaris themsleves know the significance of all the rituals).  When the poojari announces everybody throws rice(covered in kumkum and haldi) on their heads. As you go towards South of India marriages are quieter, extravagant nevertheless. Mehendi and shoe-stealing[2], customs of North-Indian marriages, have become an integral part of all marriages now( Thanks to the hindi movies like Hum Aapke Hai Kaun). 

Hosts(usually the girls side) take care that all the guests are fed well ( meaning overfed). More often than not the guests are spoilt for choice( tht is a part of definition for a good wedding ceremony). It is mostly lunch, but also dinner in Northern part of India where marriages start after 10.

For the people getting married, it is union of the two souls and celebration of the moment. But for the others it is an occasion to dress-up , show off your jewellery, family get-together, feasting( dieting is a sin during marriages), for kids it is an occasion to meet lots of other kids and play around when the elders are busy with the customs/rituals. For the event management companies, the mantap owners, the flower seller, even the poojari and the like it is a business opportunity. Bridal wear and Bridal jewellery collection is another story altogether. A different saree for every occasion, matching accessories ( bangles, necklace(s), toe ring, nose ring, mang tikka ( forehead), bajuband( worn on the arms), accessories for hair…). Phew didn’t I mention elaborate.

I personally love these weddings but lavishness has become an unquestionable custom now. At times bride’s parents may end up spending all their life trying to repay the loan taken for their darling daughter’s marriage. That is when they can afford to get one. Else their daughters might end up being single or worse agree to anybody who is ready to marry them. On a long term this also leads to other social evils like “female foeticide or infanticide” in rural areas. I believed as people become more educated and progressive, they will begin to see the absurdity of spending somebody’s lifetime saving for a single dress and occasion. On the contrary educated people prefer this. The few weddings of wealthy Indians (who get all the media attention) seem to have masked the inability of the other lesser mortals to hold such spectacular weddings. Well I just hope better sense prevails and the big fat Indian Wedding doesn’t actually become a hindrance for others.

Customs and Significance

1. The Central Fireplace(Agni kund) is a ritual to be performed at any important occasion as in a marriage. The Saptapadi (Seven Steps) was a ritual to be performed around a central fireplace called agni-kund. The sacred fire was Vedi. The couple to be married had to go around the Vedi seven times, representing seven days of the week. And symbolising the union of the souls for seven lives.

2.Shoe-Stealing – is a custom where brides sisters steal grooms shoes and demend money to return it back. And the grooms frnds and cousins try to hide the same to prevent shoes getting in girls hands. The South Indian counterparts of this custom(though not very common now ) are getting hold of coconut tied to the grooms hand, groom has to pay the brides sister on arrival aarti…

There ain’t no free lunch

I just started reading this book by a very popular dietician and she mentioned how people get shocked when she says “Dieting is not starvation”. People don’t believe you can become size zero if you eat right. They take it with a pinch of salt when you say eat and be healthy but believe all the ads which promise guaranteed weight loss, herbal and non herbal food supplements and go for all types of fad diets and boot camps without a second thought and considering the effects during and after the course. Why does this happen? Here is my take

1. Truth is simple  – people don’t like to believe truth is that simple. It looks good when it is packaged as a complex philosophy

2. People want free lunch – well not in the literal sense! People like it when they don’t have to pay for something. (No wonder the oldest marketing startegy of giving away freebies is still very popular and relevant). People like to believe that you can become thin without any exercise and you still get to eat whatever you wish to eat in all the quantities you wish by just popping some pills or going through a 1-2 hr sitting every week.

There ain’t no free lunch is a very old adage (cliched but true). You always end up paying for everything in some or the other kind. Though you don’t realise it all the time. Paying money is probably the cheapest price. The other costlier forms are when people pay with their health, pay with their confidence levels, pay with their self respect, pay by sacrificing their relationships and the like. The low cal, low carb, low fat foods sell because people want to eat lots and still not put on weight. Tell them moderation is the key and they won’t believe you. Tell them about compensation diet- over eat one day and compensate for it by not eating the next day. They will take your advice. Simply because they like to indulge. They like to believe there is some magic potion or a miracle drug that will undo all the abuse you have done to your body. Treating it well does not seem to be an option!!!

Till people realise such simple truths in life (if ever they do), all the fad diet and get thin, get well industries continue to flourish and make money. People falling prey for all these treatments will continue to lose money and learn their lessons the hard way.

Dilbert Dilbert Dilbert!!!

All that I seem to be doing these days. Read Dilbert, write Dilbert, sleep Dilbert … and yes post Dilbert

Yet another Dilbert!

Yeah right yet another dilbert but this time it is not one of his cartoons but his words of wisdom ( I call them so ) by Scott Adams

I do not agree or disgree with any of these, I simply am putting some of the witty lines together

• If you spend all of your time arguing with ppl who are nuts, you’ll be exhausted and nuts will still be nuts. That’s why you should learn to agree with ppl who are nuts, e.g., your boss.
• If u were the proprietor of the Pocket Lint Museum in California, and you wanted to tout ur popularity, you wouldn’t say, “Visited by over three people per year and they only stopped to ask directions!”
  You would replace the small number three with a much larger number 12 million, as in “Located in a state with over 12 million tourist per year!”
• Boredom can’t kill you, but you might wish it could
• Technically, theory is not a theory untill someone tries to explain why it works.
• When you say “its a established fact”, no one really checks to see if it really is.
• There are two types of women: the ones who are currently in discomfort, and the ones who are actively seeking it.

Hope you enjoyed reading them.

Search Quest

I am back may be for the nth time At the cost of losing my readers though

One of my initials posts(when Bing had just launched) included a poll: Google or Bing (in which very few people participated ) . But the answer was obvious: It was google all the way. No competition!!!

Today I happened to open Bing after a long time coz I was unable to find something on Google. I always loved the unique collection of background photos on Bing. The square boxes that redirect to some interetsing piece of news was a surprise for me. I loved the feature and the search engine inspite of it being from Microsoft . And to my joy also found the page I struggled to find on Google. I went ahead and added bing to my favorites bar.

For first use of the new shortcut, I decided to open Bing for my daily dose of news and Google news appears second in the list wheras it appears third in Google!!! Go ahead and bing for the info ( Oh I almost forgot yahoo is also a search engine. Do any of you use Yahoo for searching?)