L for Leave letters

“English is Phunny language” said Amitabh Bachchan in an epic Bollywood movie and I couldn’t agree more. I don’t know of any other language where you could create so much confusion by just interchanging the order of words or misplacing a comma. Here are a few funny leave letters written by people whose impeccable English skills have made people’s day by giving them a good laugh.

1.Since I have to go to my village to sell my land along with my wife, please sanction me one-week leave. – I am sure the wifey doesn’t know of his plans :P

2. From an employee who was performing the “mundan” ceremony of his 10-year-old son: “as I want to shave my son’s head, please leave me for two days..”
( For those who don’t know about mundan “In Hindu tradition, the hair from birth is associated with undesirable traits from past lives. Thus at the time of the mundan, the child is freshly shaven to signify freedom from the past and moving into the future. It is also said that the shaving of the hair stimulates proper growth of the brain and nerves”

3. Leave-letter from an employee who was getting his daughter married
“as I am marrying my daughter, please grant a week’s leave..” 8-O

4. “As my mother-in-law has expired and I am only one responsible for it, please grant me 10 days leave.” – oh God! MILs please beware of such son-in-laws

5.Another employee applied for half day leave as follows:
“Since I’ve to go to the cremation ground at 10 o-clock and I may not return, please grant me half day casual leave”. – If you ever come back, if you ever come back,….

6. “I am suffering from fever, please declare one day holiday.” – Must be a very important person :P

7. A leave letter to the headmaster:
“As I am studying in this school I am suffering from headache. I request you to leave me today” – Honesty is the best policy :D

8. “As my headache is paining, please grant me leave for the day.” – No comments :D

9. Covering note: “I am enclosed herewith…” – home delivery available.

10. “Dear Sir: with reference to the above, please refer to my below…” – As above, so below

11. “My wife is suffering from sickness and as I am her only husband at home I may be granted leave”. – Must have been so difficult only one husband managing everything

12. Letter writing: -
“I am in well here and hope you are also in the same well.” – So much for wellness

13. “This has reference to your advertisement calling for a ‘ Typist and an Accountant – Male or Female’…As I am both(!! )for the past several years and I can handle both with good experience, I am applying for the post. – I’d have hired him/her for the candidness :D

14. A student’s leave letter:
“As I am suffering from my uncle’s marriage I cannot attend the class….” – your suffering has just begun :P

On a related note, people are very creative when making lame excuses for taking leaves. But one person didn’t bother to think too much. Just clubbed the two most effective reasons
- Half the family dying, other half pregnant. – Brilliant, I say!

What is the lamest excuse you have given or heard someone give for taking a leave?

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