A day in cubeville - Dilbert
I have been cubevilled. No, no, this did not happen yesterday. Just that the realization dawned upon me very recently. I have noticed a few people also recognise me as a corporate prisoner. Doesn’t sound good. I think they are just jealous. These are the ones who could not gain access to the cubeville. Anyway, now I am an inmate of the cubeville proudly Now I laugh, cry , sing , dance and live on the days of the week called as Saturday and Sunday. I am the happiest on a day called Friday and use terms like TGIF to describe my happiness. I also use terms like paradigm shift, leverage and out of the box thinking to gain more acceptance from the folks around me in the cubeville.
Life here is interesting from the normal life outside. People here seem to think they can control everything around them. It starts with conditioning the breathing air around them with devices called as Air-conditioners. Using this they adjust the room temperature to sub zero levels to get a feel of the more attractive far-off Antartic regions which are considered the advanced ones. The people here also try to imitate the species staying there while speaking, laughing, walking and sleeping and eat and wear stuff popular out there. The more similar you are to those species the more worthy you are considered. And then there is planning. It is a must to also have a plan to plan.
And this one has a festival coming up every month(Isn’t that cool? ) and the holy day is called salary day. The major leisure activity around this part of the world is related to something called Internet. It may take the form of forwarding emails, watching videos on youtube, Facebook, twitter, stupid games and random articles. When people here get upset they just download their feelings to something called a blog and continue with their work later on. There is also this phenomenon called “Review/Appraisal” which occurs annually in this part of the world. People dread this day and keep preparing to deal with the day throughout the year.
The language spoken here is called numbers(even the names of the people that are also known as an employee id). And if you happen to speak in any other language the words go unheard of. Although they make a constant effort to also speak a language called HR policy.
Most of the important decisions are taken by a certain sect of people called Managers or bosses. They don’t seem to be liked by the general folk and they speak in a secret language of their own called an MBA language.
So far so good. Lets see how things shape up for me here. Will keep you guys posted on the happenings here. Well, that is if I can, coz family, friends and social life is kind of stigma in this place. You know I have just come in here and want to be the good books of the folks. After all, I am supposed to stay here. Please forgive me if I don’t remember most of you after a few days. Thanks in advance for understanding me.
P.S: You may not have understood the last paragraph unless you also belong to cubeville or cubeville like places. English meaning: It is a nice way of saying “I am selfish and will only talk to you if I have something to get out of you”. The word sycophant in English is close to the above meaning.